Even the best relationships have their difficulties. Healthy, long term relationships are a result of effort and maintenance, they don’t happen in a vacuum and a counsellor can help you keep on top of any issues problems that seem to be causing angst.
Find a compromise – make suggestions about what you both can do in the future to stop the past from repeating itself
Do less of what causes pain – realistically the hurtful comments have to stop or reduce before anyone can talk about difficult topics or be prepared to work on fixing the relationship
Remember there is always two sides to a coin – you don’t always have to agree with everyone, you just need to respect they have their own opinion too
Look before you leap – practise thinking “will what I’m about to say or do help or hinder the situation and our relationship?”
What am I bringing to the table? – While it takes two hands to clap we need to look at what we’re contributing to the situation or problem from the other persons perspective
Do more of what helps – remember times you have got on well in the past and work on recreating those conditions if it’s possible
Practise makes perfect – you can’t go to the gym once and expect a six pack, so why think that you didn’t do something negative once would fix a situation that has been broken for a while
Interrupt negative stereotypes of each other – if they expect you to jump right, then jump left, it will give them pause to stop and think and then they are no longer able to do what they normally do
Be flexible – if your partner tries something different then take that as they are trying, don’t be rigid with your thinking by saying “well you’ve done it once but I know it won’t last”, you actually don’t know that for sure
If you have a broken leg use crutches – seek professional support, a good counsellor will help you find new and healthier ways of getting your point across without disrespecting or dismissing your partner
Think of the problem as external to the both of you, not personality trait of the other person, use your join talents to work on overcoming this externalised problem, take the personal out of it
When you feel the wheel is getting wobbly and communications are breaking down, its time to seek out a professional. Reach out TODAY.......